Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

20.5.11

I'll try anything once.

Blogging every day in May didn’t happen. HAHAHAHAHA. Yes, that's the sound of me laughing. I'll try anything once. But I should have set a more realistic goal—like, brushing my teeth every day. Let’s move on.

So, camping over Easter weekend was fun. (Mostly.) We camped next to a rain forest. (It rained a lot.) We spent our afternoons debating—would the tent leak? (It didn't.)


I was impressed by the facilities. (Free electric barbecues! Power to charge your mobile phone! Rubbish collection!)

We ate well. Steaks and burgers and sausages and chicken wings. Porridge for breakfast and proper coffee. Easter lollies and chocolate.

The Bogans were our neighbours. Uncle and his three teenage boys, Niece and her young two kids, and a couple of dogs. They had two caravans and two tents.

After our first night, they shared secrets about the camp ground. They'd been going there for years, and they had the best camp site. They knew where to find dry wood. Did we need more tent pegs or another tarp?

“I wish we had a caravan,” I said.

Uncle told me about the deal that he got when he bought his caravan, and how to get around paying the rego for the whole year.

“And you can come up here if you separate from your partner,” Uncle said. “You can stay here until yous get set up.”

Apparently, this was what he had done when his wife kicked him out. I didn’t mention that Adam and I had separated. It was too complicated to explain.

The Bogans were unruly, but nice people. They always had a fire going on the bank of the river. (They were burning old furniture.) They drank and played music—but not too late. They looked after a dog someone had left in the campground.

But I couldn't help thinking of a scene from “Cold Mountain”.

“Do you remember when Jude Law’s character and that crazy preacher go up to the lopsided cabin, and they get drunk on moonshine?" I asked Adam.

"The room is spinning, and the women are dancing around and lifting up their skirts. And they get turned in for being deserters.”


It was a strange, tangential thought.

But aren't all holidays an odyssey? Adam and I went on a journey together. While we camped in the ruins of our marriage, I was happy to pretend we were still a couple. One last time.

31.8.10

It's over.

It is Midnight. The last day of August. My month of blogging every day is over. In the beginning of the month, I told you that I wanted to do Nablopomo (National Blog Posting Month) as a writing exercise and a personal challenge. I also wanted a shiny Nablopomo badge for my sidebar. Well, it was a long haul, but I kept going until the end.

One of the things I learned is that you publish a lot of bad stuff when you publish a post every day. It’s miserable, and I whined about it. (I take solace in whining.) But I learned something else. There is an inescapable honesty in these bad posts. They are naked. They are what they are. I had to be a bit courageous to publish these bad posts. I had to just let it all hang out.

Unfortunately, I was not successful in my Nablopomo. Even though I published a post for every day in August, I was late publishing some of these posts. I missed my deadlines. So, I will not get my shiny Nablopomo badge.

But it's OK. I will keep going. Just not every day. Because publishing a post every day is really miserable.

26.8.10

Does sex make it impossible for men and women to be friends?


Harry: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry: When did I say that?
Sally: On the ride to New York.
Harry: No, no, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
When Harry Met Sally... is a 90 minute meditation on the impossibility of men and women being friends. Movies and TV suggest to us friendships between men and women must result in some kind of romance, but I want to think there is a wider range of possibility in these friendships than what Harry and Sally faced.

Before the 20th century, men and women lived and worked in separate spheres, and friendships between the genders were rare. Even today, friendships between the sexes have ambiguous boundaries. Voluntary gender separation is still common. (Think of those parties when men may go off to one corner, and women to the other.)

Friendships between men and women can be so intimate. Sometimes sexual interest and sexual appreciation flare up. However, this is different from having sex. It is about the possibility of what could have happened if circumstances were different. Or it can be reassurance that we are still attractive or sexy. These kinds of attachments can and should be a support system. But can these friendships really work? Or does the presence of desire doom friendships between men and women? And what about the awkwardness of its absence?

Men and women tend to be subtle and creative when building friendships. Men probably get more out of it. In a friendship with a woman, men are able to share their feelings or personal reflections, something that they might be less likely to do with other men. Maybe women benefit because friendships with men are light and fun. (I was going to add that women can find out how men think, but men actually are not that difficult to figure out. They are simple creatures.)

Platonic relationships between men and women seem unlikely in our culture. People outside these friendships often assume the couple is having sex. If they are not having sex, the number one thing men and women do in these friendships is talk. And a spouse may be just as jealous of talking as of sex.


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23.8.10

I'm not writing a post tonight.

“I’m not going to write a blog post tonight,” I said to Adam. “If I miss a post in National Blog Posting Month, I think it will make my blog persona more sympathetic.”

“I’m sure people want you to complete it,” Adam replied. “People don’t want the All Blacks to lose.” (The All Blacks are the New Zealand rugby team.)

“If I post every day, it's annoying. And it’s kind of showing off,” I said.

“You should finish it. It was a personal challenge that you set for yourself. It’s not about other people,” said Adam. He clearly doesn’t know anything about blogging.

“It is about them because they are my audience. They read my posts,” I explained. “So, wouldn’t it be more entertaining and dramatic if I wasn’t able to finish the challenge? It could be a plot twist. I struggle but come up short.”

“No.”

“O.K. It was just an idea. I’ll write a post. Besides, I still might fail, without throwing the challenge on purpose.”

“That’s right.”

--
I have been in my pajamas all weekend. There was lots of sun, but I didn't go outside. I have been lying on the couch under a blanket, watching a Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon and girl movies. I asked Adam to go to the shop for more cold remedies. I drank cups of tea.

It is Midnight. Nablopomo is keeping me up past my bedtime. I’m not writing the post I had planned to write. Instead of writing this post, I want to go to sleep. I should have written this post earlier. Maybe tomorrow I will write a better story.

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--
Edited to add. Since this is a "blog with integrity", I need to tell you the truth. I fell asleep before I clicked on "Publish Post". And I missed my deadline--by 10 minutes. So, I failed my personal challenge. No shiny Nablopomo badge for me. (But this is a clever plot twist. Now my blog persona is just like Sandra Bullock in "The Proposal", or Meryl Streep in "Doubt". No, I'm like J-Lo in "Maid in Manhattan". AMIRITE??)

3.8.10

Almost famous.

I am almost famous. I look good and feel great.

Suzy, Queen of Quid Pro Quo, has kindly posted my photo in the sidebar of her popular blog for the month of August.

Well, OK. I had to pay Suzy $20. But I did get a tee shirt.

For the uninformed, Suzy is a stand-up comic and actor who lives in Hollywood. She has ghosts in her apartment, and most people are afraid of her. She sometimes falls on her face.

Suzy’s blog is deliciously funny and better than sex. Go experience it. Enjoy it. Buy a tee shirt. But be sure to leave a comment about how good I look. Or else.

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2.8.10

Back To The Future.

Living in New Zealand is like doing a time warp. The life style is pretty laid back. It is slower paced and not as intense as America. There is less crime, since handguns are illegal. The NZ Police often are unarmed.

“It’s reminds us of California 30 years ago,” American tourists rave.

--
It was a quiet and rainy August 1. I began to write my first post for Nablopomo (National Blog Posting Month). I felt confident.

"I can do this," I said to myself. "I can write a post every day for the month of August." I waited for my clever thoughts to fly from my fingertips onto the page. And I waited.

Still waiting, I went to the Nablopomo site to find “support for endurance blogging”. (And to pick up a badge for my sidebar.) I found the July blogroll, but nothing for August.

Then I remembered. New Zealand is in The Future. At the Nablopomo headquarters in America, it still was July 31.

I was alone. It was like I was in a dystopian story where the month has ended, and nobody in America knows about it yet. I was having my Sunday morning while America was having its Saturday afternoon.

Because we are across the International Date Line, New Zealand always is in The Future. In New Zealand, we blast into The Future in hovercars powered by fusion of rubbish. Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and my birthday are all in The Future.

America lags behind. Unfortunately, what America does has an impact on The Future. America is asleep when I am on Facebook. And on Thanksgiving (the fourth Thursday in November), it is my Friday, and everyone in New Zealand is at work.

--
To keep it simple, I will post for Nablopomo according to my own time zone. My posts will be stamped with my own local date and time.

How will being from The Future affect me? Will I still post every day in the month of August?
In summary, I will finish Nablopomo in The Future. Let’s do the time warp again!

11.5.10

The new routine.

I’m finally getting the hang of the new routine. But it’s been like training for a triathlon. I've been struggling with it, especially the part called Getting Ready for School. Apparently, I'm not able to do anything the night before. (Or set the alarm half an hour earlier.)

Waking up, getting Five dressed, getting him to eat something ANYTHING, packing his lunch, helping him decide what to bring for News. Getting dressed myself. I have rather cleverly (I think) been wearing my workout clothes to school, so (in theory) I can go for a run immediately after Drop-Off.

By the time Drop-Off is achieved, I need a six-hour break to recover. I don’t know why this is all so difficult for me. The other mums don’t seem to be having this problem. I think I need a vacation. (Alone. In Tahiti.) Or I need a car. Not that Five would let me drive him to school. He is obsessed with riding his bike, or his scooter.

--
So Getting Ready is a mission (almost impossible). And I'm anxious during the Pick-Up. We live in a small, rural village. The parents of the junior students go to the school to Pick Up their kids. We enter the school grounds, and we sit (or stand around) while we wait for the kids. And we make small talk.

Most of these people are very nice. But it’s a lot of conversations about the weather, how the weekend was (or will be), admiring people’s younger (i.e., not yet school-aged) children. Most people want to spin a yarn with their acquaintances. I should enjoy talking to other adults IRL, right? RIGHT?

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--
I love weekends. My Mother’s Day was lovely. I lay in bed with my laptop and drank coffee, while my boys made me a pancake breakfast. Then I got to talk to my wonderful mother for almost TWO HOURS. And when the boys went to the park, I had the house to myself for ANOTHER HOUR. So, it was pretty much like Every Day. Without Getting Ready for School. Which was bliss.

--
BTW, thank you for your kind comments on my last post. I was traumatised by the allergy tests at the hospital (a follow-up to skin prick tests). But I guess my post came off more grim than I'd intended. There just isn’t anything funny about hospitals, is there? Never mind.

14.4.10

Autumn.

Autumn is about endings. But these school holidays have been delightful. OMG. Really. I feel like a hobbit. Like, in the opening scenes of "The Fellowship of the Ring"? When the hobbits are living a peaceful life in the Shire, and the ring is just a magic trinket?

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I mean, OK. Solo parenting all day is tough. A couple of times, I have texted Adam with messages like, I’m losing the will to live. And, still? New Zealand is a fairy land. Years pass like days. And this gypsy autumn weather has cast a spell on me.

The past few weeks have been full of (dare I write this)...happiness, the days melting into each other. Five has been charming me, and I've been savouring these last weeks of his baby self.

Yes, it's bittersweet. This may be the last time echoes in the corners of my mind. The last time he lisps, or the last time he wraps his arms around my neck, or the last time he demands my attention, so he can give me a two-hour monologue about his super powers.

I am still the centre of Five’s world, but my time is (rightfully) passing. Soon the influences of school and his mates will change him into a different (and equally wonderful) little person.

But, until then? After crisp mornings, these delicious, nearly hot days. I want to gather them up like brightly colored eggs, and stuff them in my basket.

Fertility symbols in autumn. It doesn't need to make sense.

The rituals of this new season, with Easter chocolate (everything is better with chocolate) and hot cross buns.

Going for a wander under pale blue skies.

Civic Square, Wellington

A visit to the museum.

A giant leap for science at Te Papa.

By a calm sea. Putting on his wetsuit and going for a swim, or just lying in the warm sand on the beach.

Looking towards Kapiti Island.

Longer and colder nights, under cosy quilts. Ordering firewood, and conjuring up a few fires in the woodburner.

The woodburner. For the next few months, we will be best mates.

Five playing with his cousins and his mates. Learning to ride his bike on two wheels—his earnest, little wobble. Going for bike rides in the grassy acres of the park, or all the way down to the train station.

And riding the miniature trains in the Marine Gardens.

Funny old men drive the trains at the Marine Gardens.

Packing away our summer clothes, and buying new gum boots, rain jackets, and slippers. Playing board games. Cuddling and reading books.

Fantastic Mr. Fox: Movie Tie-in Edition

Watching cartoons and movies together.

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A hearty new menu of soups and roasts, and pumpkin and potato, and apples and pears, cakes and crumbles, and soon feijoas.

Blueberry rhubarb crumble. It's what's for breakfast.

It's like a book I don't want to finish. My life is beautiful. I am blessed, and I am grateful.

--
Want to see more photos of my life (over the years) in rural New Zealand? Check me out on Flickr.

10.3.10

I am a weird girl.

I've always been a “weird” girl.

When we broke up, my exasperated boyfriend said, “You are a weird girl.”

I agreed. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

I am weird. I'm not cool enough to be a hipster. But I try not to care.


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9.2.10

Dead end.

Revolutionary Road

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates is about a couple in the 1950s who are let down by the American Dream. They yearn for something better, and they come up with a plan to move to Paris. Their plan puts a band-aid (American for plaster) on their stagnant marriage. The movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio is superb and depressing.



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Adam and I have been talking about “separation”. Rather, I’m talking about separating, and Adam is upset. He doesn't want to separate. He wants to work on our marriage, go to therapy, etc. I don't want to work on it. I hope I'm not deluding myself, but I feel like I have outgrown our marriage, and it’s holding me back. I have dreams that are bigger than yearnings. Sometimes I wonder if my feelings are “normal”. (We have been together for about eight years.) I have been trying to persuade myself my feelings are just a “seven-year itch”, and my marriage is not a dead end.

Over the last year, my friends have talked about “therapy”. This is what you say when someone confesses she is having “issues”. Aren’t you two going to go to therapy? Most people don’t want to hear about problems with my marriage. They make sympathetic noises, and try to make their escape as quickly as possible. Awkward! One friend gave me that horrible Laura Schlessenger book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. Schlessenger is a by-product of the socially conservative 1950s. It's criminal to peddle such horrible advice to vulnerable women.

I am all for therapy. Therapy is great. I love talking about myself, even if I need to pay you to listen. (Are you sure you don’t want some junk from my house?) But I don’t want to go to therapy with Adam. (Mind you, I will go, if he asks me to.) I don’t want to work on our marriage. Some friends say, Maybe you should just go to therapy yourself then? Or, You could go with him to therapy, to get him started. Or, What are you afraid of?

I'm not afraid of my feelings. I know how I went from being in love to wanting to go my own way. I take responsibility for all the things I did and didn’t do. And I will tell you all about it, if you catch me in the right mood. You want to know what I’m really afraid of? I’m afraid that if I go to therapy, I will persuade myself to give my marriage another chance, and I'm tired of giving men more chances.

I love Adam, and I’m happy he is the father of my child. I was happy with him for four or five years. But I just don’t want to live with him, or be married to him any more. He was what I needed for a time, and now maybe he’s not. Let’s not even talk about the different countries stuff right now.

--
Coming soon: In which I try to stop procrastinating and find a new place to live.

26.1.10

I am a bleeding heart.

Like a lot of bleeding heart liberals, I feel the issues. I am emotional about my point of view.

The night George W. Bush was “elected” (the first time), I cried. CRIED. Even though we had to wait for Florida to “fix” the chads on the ballots. I just knew we were returning to the dark days of Ronald Reagan and George the father.

When the US went to war in Iraq (in 2003), I had a nervous breakdown. I put my disaster supplies in the trunk of my car. I was ready for the apocalypse.

I was just discussing US politics with my high school crush. (We were reunited by Facebook—it’s so magical.) I was upset to find out he's now a moderate Republican. (He's against the health bill and against any stimulus for job creation.) He replied:
I am surprised by your visceral reaction.
I know, he's amazing. But in my mind, he's like Anakin Skywalker when he goes to the dark side in "Revenge of the Sith".

Nooooooooo!

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I shared my feelings on twitter:

I was so upset that I misspelled "unrepentant".

- -
Edited to add: My high school crush is actually an "independent" who is worried about the deficit. Same difference.

12.1.10

Grease.

The other night, we were watching TV. I flicked over to the movie channel, and “Grease” was on.

Me: I’m not going to watch the whole thing.

Adam: (groan)

I have watched “Grease” so many times. One summer, when I was 11 or 12 years old, I watched it every day. I loved Australia’s Olivia Newton-John, as good girl Sandy.

Now I am hooked on Stockard Channing’s Betty Rizzo. I like when she sings “There Are Worse Things I Could Do”.

3.1.10

The Wizard of Oz.

I have been inspired by Blonde Episodes and Lights! Camera! Diapers! So, I am starting a new thing on Wellington Road. Movie reviews!

(For the truly interested, check me out on Flixster--I'm a SuperReviewer!)

At Wellington Road, we just watch whatever is on telly. (Because we are tired.)

On New Year’s Eve, we ended up watching "The Wizard of Oz" (with Judy Garland).

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I suppose everyone exposes their children to the magic of "The Wizard of Oz". But watching it through Mr 4’s eyes really was magical.

For example, Mr 4 thought it was funny to see individual things (like a cow) flying by Dorothy’s window in the tornado, and he picked up straight away that Miss Gulch is the witch. He thought the Munchkins were made of wood (No, honey, they were real people.). He tapped his foot to “Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead”. He wondered with Dorothy which way to go on the yellow brick road (just before she meets the Scarecrow). And he loved what the water did to the Wicked Witch of the West.

"The Wizard of Oz" was released in 1939. When I was a kid, it was one of my favourite movies, and I have watched it dozens of times. I love the humour and the sense of menace, and also the glimpse of old Hollywood. I think this movie touches something primal in all of us.

From the antipodean perspective: when Adam was a kid, he thought Oz was in Australia!

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