I'm addicted to coffee.

I was excited to try a new cafe that I had read about on Twitter.

IN JULI’S HEAD: They have Bom Bons! Cardamom White Chocolates! Chilli Mochachinos!

WHAT JULI REALLY SAYS: [breezily, to BARISTA] I read about your cafe on Twitter.

BARISTA: [surprised] Really?

JULI: [modestly] Yeah. I’m kind of addicted to Twitter.

BARISTA: I don’t Twitter. I just, you know, e-mail.

JULI: You should get a Twitter account. Lots of businesses use Twitter!

BARISTA: So, would you tell people on Twitter, if they mention the cafe, and “twit” or “tweet”, they can get a free coffee?

IN JULI’S HEAD: I’m not going to sell out for four bucks.

WHAT JULI REALLY SAYS: [reluctantly] Uh, yeah. Sure. OK.

My Chilli Mochachino was very nice.

Edited to add. Health warning: Coffee and Twitter are highly addictive. When coffee and Twitter are used together, you can be offensive to others.