- I met my husband, Adam, at my roommate’s wedding. She married his brother, who was also living with us. So my roommate is my sister-in-law. And our kids are cousins.
- After I met Adam, I didn’t want him to visit me in San Francisco. I was happy with my life and I had a feeling that everything would change if he came to visit. Everything did change (but for the better).
- When I was five, my kindergarten teacher told me not to write with my left hand. She was mean. I was probably meant to be left-handed. She also told me to take the scissors out of my mouth. That was probably good advice.
- When I was a kid, I didn’t like carbonated fizzy drinks like Coke or Sprite. I still don’t really like them.
- I don’t like lollies either. Adam and my son love them. I'm a chocolate girl.
- My son’s curls remind me of my brother’s when he was little.
- I don’t have any tattoos. I like them on other people, but I’m too chicken to get one myself.
- When I was five, I wanted to grow up and be a cashier at Kroger (the local supermarket). At the time, it seemed like a powerful position. When I was ten, I wanted to be an international lawyer. I had lots of penpals and I dreamed of going travelling and making the world a better place.
- In the 90s, after the usual waitress-temp training wheels, I made good money working in marketing communications and multimedia. It was a golden age. The pay was high and the expectations were low.
- And I paid off all the credit card debt that I had accrued during college (thanks, Citibank). Now I don’t believe in using credit cards. We save up to buy things, the old-fashioned way.
- I want to publish a novel. I have two first drafts, and I’ve started working on a third.
- I love going to the library and the book store. I feel at loose ends if I’m not reading a book. Usually I’m reading a few at once.
- I love the toy house that my parents bought for my son. It’s a Pintoy one. I’m always asking him if we can play with it. And sometimes I play with it by myself.
- When I was a little girl, I loved my Barbies. I had the Dream House and the swimming pool and so many clothes. I loved to create elaborate plots and I would
control their livesplay with them for hours. - I still sometimes wear my nose-ring. I don’t wear all black any more though. These days I like to dress like a
hippie chickbohemian. - If I could, I would wear pajamas all the time. My husband calls me Pajama Girl.
- I don’t like the same music that I liked when I was younger. Now I like mainstream divas like Brit Brit and Beyonce. I've always liked Madonna though.
- I hardly ever play the piano or the violin. But when I do, it makes me very happy.
- I was afraid to drive in New Zealand. For the first two or three years I lived here, I walked or I took the train. I couldn’t remember which side of the road I was supposed to be on, and the roundabouts and the give way rule? So confusing.
- I love walking and hiking and tramping. I don’t like biking. My son is a keen biker. So I think I will have to learn to like it.
- I love popcorn. One of my earliest memories is hearing my parents making popcorn (after I was supposed to be asleep). Oh, and I love pizza. And burritos and tacos. And chips (French fries). And curries and laksa. OK, I live to eat. My husband is an amazing cook.
- Since my son is allergic to dairy, eggs, peanuts and sesame seeds (yes, we’re one of those families), we make a lot of our own food. We can’t buy pre-packaged convenience stuff or get many take-aways. At first it was really difficult, but reading all those labels when I was a vegetarian has served me well. And my son can have soya, almonds and potatoes now, which makes life MUCH easier.
- I never learned how to put on make-up. So I don’t wear it. But I love having it done professionally.
- I don’t like crowds or large groups. I want to listen to what everyone is saying, and I get frustrated if everyone is talking at once. But I love to talk and have everyone listen to me.
- The first time I got drunk was with Peach Schnapps. Just the thought of a fuzzy navel sickens me to this day.
Unmagical thinking
-
I know people talk about the transformative power of grief, and I know that
there’s supposed to be some alchemy whereby you internalize the person you
lost...


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