I believe that being a stay-at-home mum was worth the financial sacrifice. It has been a luxury to stay home for another year, and try to figure out “what I should do”.
But to put a brighter spin on things, I think I was born in the wrong decade. This may be the lament of a late bloomer.
I still have no idea what to do. Not really. Earning money by publishing novels is a stupid pipe dream. And I think I always have known this.
I have a whim to make the world a better place—by sharing the delights of Romeo and Juliet and The Metamorphosis with impressionable young people who will not read these texts.
But in New Zealand there is no shortage of English teachers. And French teachers aren't in demand here either (ref. a little incident with nuclear testing in the South Pacific, and a boat called the Rainbow Warrior).
The other deterrent to shaping young Kiwi minds is needing to spend $6,000 on a "paper”. Although I am usually in favour of gaining more education, this seems unfair. I wish the cost of the paper could be absorbed by my employer (The Ministry of Education) in exchange for say, a couple-year commitment to teaching.
If there are no jobs for English teachers, it is probably more worthwhile to toss $6,000 in the wood burner.
I do have a teaching certificate from when I lived in Chicago. I got it when I was about 25 (and confused). I'm pretty sure that I had to do something to get it, even if I don’t quite remember what it was. At the time, Chicago was desperate for teachers, and they encouraged anyone crazy or stupid enough to want to teach school to give it a go.
There were trips to the Board of Education, and there may have been testing or evaluation. Even though education in America now has fallen behind, I feel like my previous experience should be worth something.
This is the plight of the immigrant. You need to jump through hoops to get a job that you may have been allowed to do in your home country. Of course most Kiwis believe this is perfectly reasonable.
There is a need for teachers in New Zealand, and it would be nice to have a similar schedule and holidays to Five’s. But I also want to get in paid employment ASAP. So instead of trying to inspire Kiwi children, I think I will try to get another grey government job producing documents. Or do the paper to teach school. One or the other.
Yes, I'm happy we have cleared that up.
Unmagical thinking - I know people talk about the transformative power of grief, and I know that there’s supposed to be some alchemy whereby you internalize the person you lost...