What the child is saying.

Wipe my bottom. Obviously, this is something you only want to hear from someone you gave birth to. I warned the child that when he goes to school, he will need to wipe his own bottom. And he looked at me like, I will totally hold it until I get home.

Food! Food! Food! The child tweets like a little bird when he needs something to eat.

Have a nice day, Dad. The child says this as my husband heads out the door to work. It is just as sweet as I love you.

That’s not my name. My name is Jet. Um, okay. And let me guess, you’re a Transformer? I think my husband let the child watch the Transformers to get back at me. Because robots in disguise? I don’t get it.

Mum, it’s your favourite song. I love it. The child knows my favourite song. Even though it’s been overplayed, and I don’t like it any more. Boom boom pow.

Do you want some cuddles? You would have to have a heart of stone to say no to this. Although sometimes the child’s timing is a little off, like when I have my hands full of pizza dough, or I’m sitting on the toilet. Yeah, we’ll have to work on that.

Roasted pumpkin soup.

My first cup of pumpkin soup was made from a packet, in a household that had never seen a fresh vegetable.

Making pumpkin soup from fresh vegetables makes all the difference. My husband cuts up the pumpkin for me. However, I believe that my experience with carving jack-o-lanterns will probably come in handy, if it's ever put to the test.

Roasted pumpkin soup
1 small pumpkin, cut in chunks and peeled
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tbsp olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tbsp finely grated fresh ginger
½ tsp ground turmeric
3 cups chicken stock, heated
½ cup coconut cream
1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
1 tsp grated lemon zest

Heat oven to 200 C. Place pumpkin in oven pan and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast for 30 minutes until soft.

Heat olive oil in a large saucepan over low heat and add onion, garlic, ginger, turmeric. Cook until soft (5-10 minutes). Add pumpkin and stock and bring to boil, then turn down the heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and cool.

Blend soup until smooth. Return to saucepan and reheat. Stir in coconut cream, sweet chilli sauce and lemon zest. Season to taste.

Not a complete failure. The child did eat the roasted pumpkin.

Burglary or scam?

Last week one of the local papers reported another burglary in the village. $1,000 in cash was allegedly stolen from someone’s house.

This sounds suspicious. Like maybe someone is making an insurance claim.

I mean, who keeps $1,000 in a handbag at their house? Someone who is paid in cash?

At Wellington Road, burglars would be lucky to find $20.