Comments on Wellington Road: I can be wishy-washy.

"We may be Facebook friends, but they are dea...

2011-12-29T02:55:46.860+13:00

"We may be Facebook friends, but they are dead to me."

harsh.

I find that friendships can grow out of once-sexua...

2011-10-24T02:12:13.602+13:00

I find that friendships can grow out of once-sexual affairs, but that it takes some serious doing - and that, ironically, it has to be the kind of break where there is absolutely no hope of return. Atomically clean.

I say this because I'm of your same temperament, but I go down with sinking ships. I'm such a sucker for people who actually want to hang around with me that I'll attempt anything to salvage a relationship that's long gone sour. And right now I'm finding that while many times that patience is ultimately damaging, it can sometimes be rewarded.

Hang in there. We all do have to fight for our own happiness - no one else will do it for us.

Well I have the same lousy taste you have and CAN&...

2011-09-21T15:42:18.825+12:00

Well I have the same lousy taste you have and CAN'T end them.

So how fucked am I?

So, can men and women be friends after they hav...

2011-09-21T05:48:40.355+12:00
So, can men and women be friends after they have sex? "Once my lover, now my friend. . ."

It is not always easy, but possible.The question is whether you both want it are willing to do what it takes.

"I don't think I've ever experienced ...

2011-09-21T03:21:58.053+12:00
"I don't think I've ever experienced requited love from a lover. Nobody has cared about my happiness as much as I've cared about his."

Me too. Totally. But I think it's my fault and not theirs; I choose people like that so that my "need" to be rejected is met. Those old patterns die hard.

@Neil I don't want anyone or anything to be de...

2011-09-20T18:24:28.701+12:00
@Neil I don't want anyone or anything to be dead to me. Wouldn't it be great if everything lasted forever? Or maybe not.

"So, can men and women be friends after they ...

2011-09-20T15:34:42.337+12:00
"So, can men and women be friends after they have sex? "Once my lover, now my friend. . ."

Yes and no. I am an aquaintance (via FB) with one and a Friend with another. One of those "relationships" could be called toxic (and thus shortlived). Oddly enough - the friendship that lasted was a friendship before we hooked up - and it is one that actually grew deeper because of that.

I imagine the key is in the Toxicity. If it's there - dump it. I have certainly dumped friends who were toxic - liars, betrayers: why would I want to keep them in my life? "Dead to me" pretty much covers it.

Hugs

I like the phrase "warriors for our own happi...

2011-09-20T15:14:12.367+12:00
I like the phrase "warriors for our own happiness." And shouldn't that be the case for everyone? At some point, even our children will go on to have their own lives, and we need to take care of ourselves.

But this post sounds a bit pessimistic about relationships. Why should you want anyone to be "dead to you?" You don't sound wishy washy at all, but very intense about your wants and not wants.