Comments on Wellington Road: Dead end.

I really appreciate your honesty in this post. Al...

2010-02-25T05:01:07.682+13:00

I really appreciate your honesty in this post.

All the best to you and your little family, wherever the future takes you.

What a sad and difficult situation to be in. No o...

2010-02-23T08:54:33.869+13:00

What a sad and difficult situation to be in. No one but you can make the decision for you regarding how to proceed in your life. The only thing I would say is this: Commitment is not a feeling, it is a choice. If all married people made the choice to go their separate ways when the feeling of being in love went away for a while, there would be no married people left. Having said that, I've seen many people stay together when they shouldn't have, for one reason or another.

So, friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you transition through this time of your life. Whatever you decide, stay true to the idea that your son will be ok as long as you guys love him, which you obviously do. :)

i know a lot of people, too, who are in this very ...

2010-02-13T11:31:03.595+13:00

i know a lot of people, too, who are in this very spot. i just can't figure out why. maybe til death do you part has become too long to be practical (because really, hi! that' a long ass time), and we're going to evolve into a new relationship configuration--where serial monogamy is the new normal.

Whatever happens, I wish you peace.

Let us know how it all goes, eh? I read a quote ...

2010-02-13T09:49:08.452+13:00

Let us know how it all goes, eh?

I read a quote a long time ago about ambulances being the end of community. Once rescuing was relegated to professionals only, people stopped helping one another when they weren't on the clock. I respect therapy. I believe in therapy, but I kind of think it did to friendships what ambulances did to assistance. It's a big part of why I blog -- my friends don't want to hear it.

you've got brave stamped in interesting places...

2010-02-12T19:57:06.565+13:00

you've got brave stamped in interesting places on your body, haven't you.

well, you oughtta.

Ooooh, my first visit to your blog. Sorry to hear ...

2010-02-12T03:29:44.972+13:00

Ooooh, my first visit to your blog. Sorry to hear you are in the middle of a dilemma. Sounds like you are pretty sure what you do not want. You are now figuring out what it is you do want. I wish you happiness and health.

What an interesting post. That movie influenced my...

2010-02-11T09:38:20.394+13:00

What an interesting post. That movie influenced my decision to move to NZ with my partner and I think about it often.My partner saw it first in the States and came home immediately and said, "We have to go to NZ." Oddly enough, I didn't watch until we rented in NZ from EzyVideo.

On the issue of therapy, my only advice is that if he wants it, then it may help him with closure. Stay true to yourself and honor his need for a therapeutic resolution at the same time. It's not easy, but it's possible.

Oh God. This is so hard. I have no advice. But I k...

2010-02-10T16:06:22.998+13:00

Oh God. This is so hard. I have no advice. But I know how you feel. You are not alone.

In the meantime, find someone to beat with that Dr. Laura book.

I amazed at your strength to share something so di...

2010-02-10T15:18:39.747+13:00

I amazed at your strength to share something so difficult. And your strength to ask yourself difficult questions and to acknowledge that the right answers are not always the easy answers. my only advice is what you already know: Dr. Laura is a whack-job.

FWIW, I know a lot of people who are having the sa...

2010-02-10T08:52:37.882+13:00

FWIW, I know a lot of people who are having the same conversation/thoughts.

It is a rough spot, but I am a fan of taking chances on life.

You have to do what you think is right. Best of lu...

2010-02-10T06:05:50.126+13:00

You have to do what you think is right. Best of luck.

Clearly, you're not waffling here, wondering w...

2010-02-10T02:22:43.929+13:00

Clearly, you're not waffling here, wondering what's what. I think therapy is for people who can't make a choice, who are somehow stuck, or who are baffled by their motivations, circumstances, reactions, or who are motivated to stay together and think having a third-party involved will help them restore their relationship. Doesn't sound like you.

I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you well as you go forward.

oh honey. that is big. sending you love and the l...

2010-02-09T21:48:39.090+13:00

oh honey. that is big.

sending you love and the light of your own truth and the courage to do what you need to do.

if you come back to these parts (usuva) that would be neat.

I have never been married so I'm not one to gi...

2010-02-09T18:32:11.036+13:00

I have never been married so I'm not one to give advice, but since when has that ever stopped me. I think people are reluctant to leave relationships because of a sense of failure. But your marriage didn't fail. It succeeded for quite a long time and now it's completed. That's all. Unfortunately, two people are seldom ready to move on at the same time. I wish you well in whatever decision you make.

Kia ora Juli, Wow, I am stunned by your honesty a...

2010-02-09T17:32:38.258+13:00

Kia ora Juli,
Wow, I am stunned by your honesty and reflective words. Kia kaha.
Robb

After watching my grandparents marriage (they will...

2010-02-09T17:02:31.106+13:00

After watching my grandparents marriage (they will celebrate 60 years this April) along with many failed marriages, I say go with your gut. You know you best and even if you don't live together and don't stay married, you'll always share a bond as parents.

Interesting. I must say I do understand some but a...

2010-02-09T15:49:21.262+13:00

Interesting. I must say I do understand some but always question such things in myself because of the ebbs and tides and peculiarities of relationships and the self. I want to have a reason, a definite reason. But the necessity of that depends on what you want in life, overall, in the long run, and so forth.

You are making me realize that it is sort of unfortunate that married people can't just take year-long vacations--go to France or India or something. Return a year later, pick up where you left off.

Maybe it's the long haul that does us in. The prospect of the long haul.

As for me, I could do this celibately. The escaped-to person or the person I'd be running away w/ for the year would be myself. I seek aloneness.

No advice here. Just be good to yourself, and lis...

2010-02-09T15:40:05.004+13:00

No advice here. Just be good to yourself, and listen to yourself. And listen to him to, but first to yourself.