26.9.12

Typical Conversation After I Meet Someone in New Zealand

“Are you Canadian?”

“No, I’m American.”

“Where are you from?”

“Ohio.”

“Eh??"

"Ohioin the Midwest. Close to Canada."

"How long have you been living in New Zealand?”

“About ten years.”

“So, you’re almost a Kiwi!”

“Yeah!" Fake laugh. "Ha, ha.”

“How did you end up living in New Zealand?”

“I married a New Zealander…”

“Did you meet here?”

“No, in Hawaii.”

“That’s so romantic!”

“We’re not together anymore.”

"Oh, I'm sorry." Awkward pause.“Were you on holiday?”

“Well...my FRIEND married Adam’s BROTHER. Adam and I met at THEIR wedding. Then Adam visited me in San Francisco. And I came to New Zealand  we went back and forth a few times.”

“Are you going to move back to America?”

“No, Adam and I share custody of Seven. OF COURSE I wish I lived closer to my family. But Adam’s family is all here. Except for the brother who married my friend.”

“Are they still together?”

“Yeah, but we don't talk anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Oh, y'know. Divorce. I don't want to complain to Laurie about her husband’s BROTHER."

"Hmm."

 "It’s OK though. I have a BLOG.”

12 comments:

Kate said...

Ha! I'm so glad you have a blog, else there'd be no where to share such predictable conversations for irony's sake! Hope you're well... xoxo

Ozma said...

Don't people know it's rude to ask questions. Eek!

Juli said...

I don't know how to be vague and aloof when answering nosy questions. I tend to overcompensate by sharing too much information.

Juli said...

And in all fairness, there aren't many Americans living in New Zealand. I'm a novelty.

hg said...

It's good to have a blog...And, Um, I go the route of overshare as compensation, too. Way I see it, if you don't really want to know, you should turn the filter up a little higher and keep your queations behind the line.

Juli said...

Kiwis love to spin a yarn. Accent deciphering and yarn spinning are our national pastimes.

Moon Over Martinborough said...

Ech. How awkward. I get the same questions, up until the divorce thing. But I usually get, "Is your wife a Kiwi?" Then I say, "No, he's an American." The look I get is priceless.

Juli said...

On the Kapiti Coast there are a lot of lesbians. But the rest of the gay community seems largely invisible (to me).

Happy Frog and I said...

People can be really rude can't they? I'm glad you are still blogging as well. x

Juli said...

I'm definitely not going to win an award for good manners. Unfortunately, I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and speak my mind. Hardly a day goes by in which I don't offend someone somehow. It's really sad.

mod mom beyond indiedom said...

What a story. And how well told. I found you on Citizen of the Month and I'm glad I did! I'm from Ohio too - Cleveland. I'm in New Jersey now. New Jersey..New Zealand... ;)

The Empress said...

So perfect.

It is OK, because I have a blog, too.

xo