21.9.11

Sheela na gig

It's an impossible dream. We have so much baggage and live at opposite ends of the earth but I dream that you come to New Zealand.

We rent a bach somewhere by a lake. I cook for you.

There is an atmosphere between us.

I am nervous.

I believe this has the potential to become something deeper.

I'm worried that you'll think I already have too much invested but I need to be brave and somehow find the words to tell you.

This.

This is what you do to me.



17.9.11

I can be wishy-washy.

In my last post, I suggested that a relationship can be disposable, like a broken laptop that's too expensive to repair. Do I really believe this? I don't know. I can be wishy-washy.

What kind of blog post is this anyway? Aren't I supposed to give an opinion and try to persuade you to embrace my point of view?

Well, I guess I believe some relationships become toxic. We need to end these relationships, am I right?

Accept that what was once in bloom withered, perhaps revealing its true poisonous self. Or maybe things just ran their course. Nothing lasts.

According to Jung, my personality type is able to end relationships. Don't laugh. Once I make up my mind, I can do it. Ask any of my exes. We may be Facebook friends, but they are dead to me.

I joke that I have awful taste in men, but it's true. I always choose the wrong men. The wounded, the shiftless non-providers, the unable to commit, the co-dependent. Men who take advantage of my good nature.

Yes, male reader. This rant is about men I chose. It's not about All Men.

It was me, not them. Or it was them.

I don't think I've experienced requited love from a man. Nobody cared about my happiness as much as I cared about his.

This is why we need to be warriors for our own happiness.

Can men and women be friends after they have sex?

"Once my lover, now my friend. . ."

No. I don't think so. Probably not.

Written on iPod touch


15.9.11

I broke my laptop.

Sometimes I am clumsy. Last week I tripped over the cord to my laptop. The pin on the end of the cord broke off in the socket of the laptop.

The cost to repair it is NZ$400 (with a one-year warranty). This is about half the cost of a comparable new machine, which is NZ$900. In New Zealand, even with the high Kiwi dollar, computers are expensive.

It costs a lot to ship a computer to a small, remote country. It's also nice to have the right plug, if you know what I mean.

Are laptops over anyway? I just read an article that said by 2015, most of us will use only tablets and smartphones. I'm writing this post on my iPod touch. I already can do almost everything I need to do with this hand-held device.

Without a laptop, Six and I are doing some things the way I did Before. I'm buying paper newspapers, going physically to the bank, talking more on the phone, writing with a pen on paper. Life seems slower.

I'm sad computers aren't made to last. I had a relationship with my laptop, and now it's over. A three-year-old machine that was going fine and only needs a simple repair is rubbish.

You may disagree with me, but many of us treat human relationships like our old computers. After the warranty expires, when we "start getting real", we see people as they really are, with all their flaws. We may decide the cost of maintaining these relationships is too high, and just buy new.

Written on iPod touch