Scene: After nephew's baptism. (OK, OK. Great-nephew.)
PRIEST, HUSBAND, and CRAZY NON-BELIEVER are stuffing their faces with afternoon tea in kitchen.
Me: I feel clucky. I'm going to ask if I can have a turn holding the baby.
Husband: It's not safe to try to take the baby away from the grandmother.
Me: I guess we need to make another one.
Priest: (giggles nervously) Uh, nice meeting you. (runs away)
Husband: Did you just lie to a priest?
Me: By pretending we have sex? Oh, honey. Don't be silly. He knows we’re married.