Addiction is not a joke.

Sorry, if I have offended you, reader. Especially by writing dumb things like, “I’m addicted to coffee! I’m addicted to Twitter!”

I know addiction is not a joke. Maybe I have come unhinged. Believe me, I used to be PC. I was sensitive.

So, I didn’t intend to use the Addiction word casually. It's so wrong how addiction has become part of our parlance. It's in our lexicon. Along with stalking and codependent and allergies.

I confess I got a bit lazy with my writing. I was under pressure to meet my deadline.

Besides, all of this neurotic psycho-babble is just the by-product of living in the age of anxiety. Words don’t really mean anything.

If I say I’m addicted to coffee, I mean that I like coffee. A LOT. I want to drink coffee at home, and I want to go out to cafes and drink coffee. I want to drink coffee with other people, and I want to drink coffee alone. I start to panic if there isn’t much coffee left in the house. And if Adam drinks the last of the coffee, I hit rock bottom. Because if I don’t have a coffee, I have what my therapist calls mood swings. (What does she know?) Sometimes I get a headache. By the way, this is NOT withdrawal.

I DENY that I have a problem. Shut up. I can quit coffee any time.

And when I say I'm addicted to Twitter, I mean that I like Twitter. I want to tweet when I’m at home, and I want to tweet when I go out. I want to tweet when I'm with other people, and I want to tweet when I'm alone. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I want to go on Twitter. I kind of lose it if I'm out and my phone battery dies, and I can’t tweet.

And the relationships! I like to connect with strangers on Twitter. I get a little high when they @ me (even more so if they are "big" on Twitter). At first, one @ was enough, but now I need more and more @’s.

Don't worry about me though. I don’t have a problem. I’m just having Conversations. About Important Things. With my friends, the people of Twitter. They are too real people. And I want to be connected with them in real time. ALL THE TIME.

Because I like to express my "twitty" thoughts in 140 characters. And I'm providing a service to the people of Twitter. I'm a content provider. Have a look at what I've shared with the people of Twitter:


You get the idea. I'd like to write more here, but I must go. Twitter needs me.


Unknown said...

You have brought a much needed smile to my night. Thanks! :)

Neil said...

If an addiction brings you money, then it is "being focused."

Suzy said...

You need to do what I did and put a Twitter Favorites Widget on your blog. When you star your favs, as you did in this post example, they automatically load into the blog widget. It's MAGIC!

It's your writer's resume on top of your blog posts! Be sure not to load the everyday Twitter widget cuz it loads ALL your tweets and reading them without context is kind of useless. And boring.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I haven't started to use Twitter because I'm afraid of the addiction.

Casey Freeland said...

I'm not sure of the official difference between obsession and addiction. But I'd say you are addicted to caffeine and obsessed with Twitter.

So am I.

A lot.

Great post.


sarah at secret housewife said...

Blimey! Thought you were serious there for a minute! I wondered who had had a go at you for belittling Addiction... So pleased to be able to end up having a laugh!!I am similarly addicted, as you know, and am currently enjoying every moment!! S

Sarah (Chez Lee) said...

Great post and writing - frightening too - as it was like reading a description of myself! But then there are worse things to be addicted to and of course my children always come first :)

Happy Frog and I said...

I'm addicted to tea and chocolate. That's all. Oh and red wine and Gin and Tonics. I think I should stop now! Great post! :-)

injaynesworld said...

Twitter can really get into your bloodstream fast and hold on tight. Fortunately, I like to read tweets more than write them so that keeps me halfway safe I think.

Magpie said...

But schadenfreude is so delicious.

IT IS ALLY said...

The primary purpose of social media is ABSOLUTELY schadenfreude!