16.4.10

Where am I going with this blog?

For the last few months, I've been having difficulty writing. I don't need a psychology degree. I know why. I'm having a nervous breakdown. And I'm lying on the couch watching "America's Next Top Model" and "Project Runway".

Instead of having this nervous breakdown, I was going to write a screenplay. Luckily, I realized that I don’t have the right connections in Hollywood to sell a screenplay. My ex, the con artist, and that girl I knew in high school? I'm clearly delusional.

And where on earth am I going with this blog? Recently, I was chatting with someone on IM who said blogging is like having penpals. When I was little, I had lots of penpals. (By the way, I’m still looking for my penpals on Facebook. Samantha? Britta? Where are you?)

This blog is like writing to ALL my penpals at once. It’s like a mass email to everyone that I have ever known in my life. Like a Christmas newsletter:

Dear You,
2010 has been so awesome. Five started school. We are going on holiday somewhere, but we still need a warrant of fitness for the van. And I’m in denial about my Twitter addiction. Wishing you a happy rest of 2010!

This blog’s title should be “Keeping up with Juli Ryan of Wellington Road”. I should get plastic surgery--move my muffin top to my ass. Keep teaching Five bad words. Dump Adam for an All Black. (The All Blacks are the NZ rugby team.)

I keep trying to exploit the crazy. But this blog isn’t anonymous, so I feel a bit shy. What if I get an e-mail from my mother? Or, what if someone in the village refers me to a therapist?

Don’t despair, reader. Eventually, I will find my way with this blog. And here are some great blogging tips that I have picked up along the way.
  1. On your blog, never compare people you know in real life to sheep. This is bad.
  2. Never beg readers to follow you. This is looked down on by hipster bloggers. Instead, have a giveaway. Or pimp your posts on Twitter. Apparently, this is OK.
  3. Your political views alienate at least 75 percent of your readers. Don’t discuss.
  4. Consider putting up a Donate button, so next year maybe you can afford to go to BlogHer.
  5. And don’t mock your husband on your blog. Be nice.
Oh, who am I kidding? Using my blog for therapy is probably wrong. I should go back to writing about Facebook and my vagina. And for some reason, people want to read about dairy-free pikelets.

--
Edited to add. Uh, not everyone that I have ever known in my life reads my blog. Obviously.

21 comments:

Jack said...

Blogging is a hoot sometimes.

injaynesworld said...

Let's see...

#1 Check
#2 Check
#3 Love me, hate me, I gotta be me.
#4 Got the button. Received $2.00 so far.
#5 Blessedly single.

jason sidwell said...

i hope your blog never finds its purpose. what a drag to know what you are, once and for all. your posts' perpetual self-reflection and unabashed uncertainty elevate wellington road to a place outside of your individual personality, in my humble, painfully nothipster opinion. to confront lang. about its purpose is high art, and you are moving through it with perfect trepidation, crafty neurosis.

From AA to NZ said...

I pretend I'm not your mother when I read your blog. Oh, hell, I pretend I'm not your mother most of the time. Actually, I've gotten too old to be anybody's mother ........... one of the few blessings of ageing - other than just waking up in the morning, of course.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I like randomness in blogs. Keep writing. It can be good therapy.

Helen said...

You can also pimp yourself on Facebook. Just sayin'. lol

This post totally made me smile!

Ann's Rants said...

How I used to wrestle with all of this.

My cure was to write down the reasons I don't quit blogging. Once I articulated them to myself, it freed me from the constant nagging of WHY OH WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH IT.

Stone Fox said...

i am fully in favor of The Crazy. bring your Crazy, put it on display right on your blog. i bet you'd make a ton of friends on wellington road. everyone is somewhat mentally ill. it's the new black.

Spencer L Casey said...

Well, I'm enjoying your process. And your friend is right, it's a lot like having mass pen pals. And that's just fine.

Cheers,

SLC

Julie M said...

Juli you rock!

Julie M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mad Woman said...

Your blog is for you. Beyond that, who gives a crap? I write about whatever I feel like and if people don't like it, they don't come back. Forget the hipster bloggers...you're pretty hip yourself!

slouchy said...

Or pimp your posts on Twitter. Apparently, this is OK.

umm, oops.

i like blogs that are about any and everything.

Suzy said...

I'm in the same boat with blogging. Apparently it happens to everyone and eventually everyone quits and new blogs start up. It's hard to sustain a blog if nothing interesting is happening and that's what's going on with me right now.

Happy Frog and I said...

Your honesty is refreshing. I only started blogging on the 31st December and I am 'hidden' which I have found has helped me let the crazy come out. I have been enjoying your blog and will continue to do so as long as you want to write. x

bernthis said...

thank you for the blogging tips. Especially the first one.

It's amazing how one never stops learning.

Sweet Jane said...

i hear dat. Blogdom is a weird ass place and I'm so glad you're one of my bff pp's. (pen pals)

xo!

The Mad Scorpion said...

...you have dairy free pikelets??? HAHA. No, i relate to much of what you said. And I have to agree with Mad Woman. Not simply because she shares half of my name, but because she is right. Blogs are you for you, and beyond that...
Personally, my blog is an excuse to get back into writing, and to hopefully build up some discipline with it. If I write nothing else that week, I try and write my blog. I don't care WHAT it's about, and I usually ramble, but I try and write SOMETHING.
I used to get hung up on wether or not anyone else was reading, but that only leads to depression and having a tanty and vowing never to write blogs again only to come crawling back a couple of weeks later cause you still wanna bitch and moan about stuff...
well.. maybe that's just me...
:)

jamie said...

Excellent post. Thanks for being so genuine.

Schmutzie said...

It's true. People have a thing for food writing. I mentioned a roasted almonds recipe once, and that's been my highest google traffic search for a year. Crazy.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Ok, have never done the food thing. Would microwave popcorn count?

The politics thing comes up once in awhile. Agree, disagree, all is good, I am saying what everyone comes out of my filter-free mouth... in real life and online. And yep sometimes it is not well received...